a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
