Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can I color on your dick again?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
