His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
