I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize