i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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