my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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