I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
