if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize