Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
