Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
