Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize