No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
