i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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