He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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