he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Randomize
