He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
