Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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