I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wear drunk well.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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