btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
