i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
