We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
