You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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