Apparently you make a good broom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
