Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
