Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
