I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
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The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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