Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
