Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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