I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
