belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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