It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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