did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is my gift to your gina
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Text me some of your sweat
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
