Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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