i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
