Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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