if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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