I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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