I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Come see our sink grown plant.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
