i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
