I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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