i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
