I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
