I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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