i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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