some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize