Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
