Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
