Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
