i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize