I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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