ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
