This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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