i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
