fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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