I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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