we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
