i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
