Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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