Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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