I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
